Found on dozens of other websites from Digg.com to outline.com, I can’t even tell where this is originally from for sure but here is my best guess at the link… for the article by Yvette d’Entremont
“On her website Goop, actress-turned-lifestyle maven Gwyneth Paltrow dispenses alternative health advice for the upper-class Los Angeleno set with the certain something that could only come from someone who is just another woman trying to manage multiple homes.
Paltrow merely aims to help everyone live their best life just like her, but rich people do weird things, recommend them to their friends, and then think they’re lifestyle experts and also doctors and qualified to tell other people what’s wrong with them. In Goopland, this includes advice on how to diagnose a parasite you probably have (and that is destroying you), how to best shove a fancy rock into your vagina — sorry, your yoni — to improve your sex life and, as always, how to detox.
But what’s at the heart of Paltrow’s empire? Is she just a dedicated health-seeker taking us on her path for utmost physical and spiritual well-being? No. Paltrow’s Goop is pure, unadulterated, blood-diamond free, organic-certified, biodynamic, moon-dusted bullshit. And you should avoid it at all costs. Here’s why.
She thinks we’re all gonna die from toxins
It’s an understatement to say that Paltrow is obsessed with toxins. Since Goop launched in fall of 2008, Paltrow has brought her readers detox after detox after detox while simultaneously having a section on her website devoted to the joys of alcohol (a carcinogen, which is definitely a toxin). She also likes to smoke a cigarette once a week. She’s fun.
Paltrow is not wrong when she warns readers that toxins are in our diet. Yes, that’s true. Toxins are everywhere. Water is a toxin. Salad dressing? It contains the same toxic ingredient as floor cleanser — good old vinegar. Table salt is wicked goddamned toxic; who puts this well known nematicide on their french fries? You, dancing madly on the lip of the volcano, and pass the ketchup! Diet Coke is like an airborne toxin at this point. GMOs? Definitely toxins.
According to Paltrow, toxins are also in your tampons, sunscreen, lipstick, bra, even your lube, and we should be very worried about this. She espouses that you should go as far as to burn your bras, but not in the 1960s women’s lib fashion, oh no. It’s because they’re full of relationship toxins: “The lingerie you wore with past lovers can carry the toxic residue of those relationships, along with painful memories,” she wrote. “While we might not think to trash lingerie that once made us feel so good — or that we spent a lot of money on — it’s a powerful, healing gesture to make.”
I love to take advice from people who literally have money to burn. But more importantly, what does all of this even mean? Toxic lube? Toxic tampons? We can trust the companies that are helping us shove appendages into our orifices… can’t we?
I know the government is a bit of a clusterfuck at the moment, but the FDA has long had incredibly stringent testing policies in place to avoid any possibility of toxic products making their way into everything from your lips to your… lips. Things like personal lube and tampons are classified as medical devices and go through a battery of tests to make sure they’re not toxic for their intended use in your reproductive system. Similarly, cosmetics are subject to inspection for a number of things, including prohibited ingredients, microbial contamination, safety, and health risks….”
As if that wasn’t enough:
“…She wants you to put weird stuff in your vagina
Paltrow loves to talk about vaginas. Apparently, for her, the origin of life is also a place to stuff cash you’re never gonna see again, in the form of special oils, eggs made of rock, and… steam. It must be said: owning a vagina does not make you an expert on one.
Paltrow is really into the concept of using oil as lubrication in whatever way you want to lubricate. She says conventional lubricants contain — wait for it — toxins. Goop even sells a “Sex Oil” at $28 for a 4-oz. bottle. Its description:
“We here at goop are unabashed proponents of good, clean, sexy sex. Oil-based personal lubricant is super-luxurious, with aromatherapy benefits, natural moisturizers, and a subtle scent. Made entirely of certified-organic ingredients — fractionated coconut oil, sunflower seed oil, evening primrose oil, and GMO-free vitamin E — and without fragrance, petrochemicals, and other toxic ingredients you find in conventional lubricant, you can use this lightweight oil on your body too. It’s great for all skin types, including sensitive.”
First, just a lifestyle note of my own: If sex is any good, shouldn’t it be messy, not clean? And second, the description of Sex Oil makes me wonder… Is a product with which you could conceivably fry things magically safer than an FDA-regulated lubricant?
I asked Dr. Jen Gunter, a board certified OB/GYN for Kaiser Permanente in San Francisco and frequent commentator on Paltrow’s suggestions for vaginal health, what she thought about Goop Sex Oil. She said that it offered “no advantage” to simply buying coconut oil at the store. She also advises against using vitamin E as part of a vaginal lube for reasons ranging from the unknown of how it affects the fairly complex ecosystem of your vagina to the chance that it could cause further damage to cells infected with HPV. Vitamins are not cure-alls, they are necessary for certain life functions. But using them improperly can cause just as many problems as not using them at all.
The really chafing thing about Paltrow’s Sex Oil is that it’s needlessly, and flagrantly, expensive. If you want to use coconut oil as lube, a jar costs $8 — although as Gunter warns, it is not a good idea to use oil with a latex condom, as oil-based lubricants break down latex in as little as a minute and we give you more credit than that. Some doctors don’t recommend using oil-based lubricants at all. If you use condoms, stick to FDA-tested, water-based lubes like KY.
Now, for the claims that Goop’s oil doesn’t have toxic ingredients unlike the regular stuff us plebes have been gulping down and/or slathering on ourselves, take heart. Personal lubricants are classified by the FDA as medical devices. Your regular old condom-compatible liquid-based lube has been through a lot of testing to prove that it’s not “toxic,” as Paltrow claims. Lubricants go through rounds of examination, including testing on cytotoxicity, microbial limits, viscosity, systemic toxicity, and vaginal irrigation (you’re in the mood for love now, I’m sure) to prove that they’re safe to get to market.
Still believe everything that goes near your vagina is turning it into toxic sludgeland? You could try shoving a rock into it — specifically a jade egg, as Paltrow suggested in one of her newsletters.
The eggs, which retail for $55, can “help cultivate sexual energy, increase orgasm, balance the cycle, stimulate key reflexology around vaginal walls, tighten and tone, prevent uterine prolapse, increase control of the whole perineum and bladder, develop and clear chi pathways in the body, intensify feminine energy, and invigorate our life force,” as jade-egg expert Shiva Rose told Paltrow. Oh really? No. Jade eggs can do nothing for you. You might as well shove a taxidermied honey badger up your cervix. It will have the same effect as a jade egg, and it’s free….”
If for some reason you want to read more about Gwyneth Paltrow and her stupid ideas, there are links above…
About Author
